


Mao Mao goes to Walmart

by Lidnun



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidnun/pseuds/Lidnun
Summary: The title is self-explanatory, this is my first fic on MMHPH, bear with me.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Mao Mao goes to Walmart

Prologue:

  
  


“Exactly what do you need from this store... _Wal-Mart_ , that you can’t just buy at the Ruby Pure-Heart marketplace? I’m sure that one of the Sweetiepies could satisfy your needs.”

“First off dude, don’t say it like that, ew. Second off, there’s this cute ceramic cup that I just _adore,_ I mean holy shit it’s so cute-” 

“Don’t curse out loud Badgerclops, Adorabat’ll hear, she’ll give me flak, and won’t let you live it down.” 

“She’s in the other room.”

“She’s a vampire bat.” 

“So?”

“So in the same sense, as I have keen eye-sight and how you eat like a glutton, Adorabat has excellent hearing.” 

“Also in the same sense as you get scared of pickles?” 

“You keep those little shits away from me.” 

“Now look who’s cursing?”

“Okay, moving on. Why do _I_ have to waste gas on the aero-cycle just to go ahead and buy your stupid cup, why can’t you get it yourself?” 

“I have valid reasons.” 

“ _Sure.”_

“Mao Mao, I _do._ Like, I refuse to spend my own money on evil corporations and I would feel the guilt of getting my cup from Wal-Mart lessen by forcing you to buy the cup with your own money for me.”

“While that sounds absolutely pathetic, I commend you on your brutal honesty Badgerclops. But that’s just one reason, give me another.” 

“Well, don’t get mad.” 

“I’m already annoyed which is the typical precursor to me getting mad, but _proceed_.” 

“...I was trying to reach over the coffee table in the living room with my foot-”

“Badgerclops I don’t like this already-”

“I turned my foot into an arc but I was too lazy to calibrate the exact trajectory of my arc from my robot eye, so I ended up knocking over the jade with those expired tootsie candies in it from last year. I cleaned up the mess so that’s nothing to worry about...but I broke the Jade.” 

“...”

“Mao Mao, are you mad at me?” 

“No Badgerclops...I’m not mad.” 

“Oh phew, for a moment there I thought-”

“I’m just, _disappointed.”_

“...I gotta cook dinner Mao Mao, goodbye.” 

“Can you at least tell me again how much the cup costs because my phone is about to die and I don’t want to waste memory by scrolling through messages-”

“ _*sob* Goodbye,_ Mao Mao.” 

The resulting dial-down click on Mao Mao’s phone added more to the irritation of the already distressed sheriff, what with his concerns ranging from the state of the Ruby-Pure Heart denizens to the state of his beautifully sheening living room floor. 

He could be back home playing _training_ his future protege the fine arts of the Mao Mao Clan, allowing her to tune in on her skills of screeching incessantly and throwing smoke-bombs the likes of which have never been seen before. 

He could be easing Farmer Bun’s burden of his strong-scented, delectable, food-sexy cobbler stash that Farmer Bun had explicitly locked the doors just for Mao Mao. 

Mao Mao could even be back home watching reruns of _Lucky Ducky: The Painful_ while eating the ever-so cumbersome cobbler from Farmer Bun. 

But...honestly, Mao Mao should take a deep breath and try to relax. Count to four, _inhale_ . Count to four, _exhale._

Therapy with Ol’Blue really helps, maybe Mao Mao should get something for the little dog, like a new coffee brewing machine...or a scarf. Ol’ Blue would definitely look great in a red scarf-

_“Focus,”_ Mao Mao tells himself, forming a box with his hands that encase Mao Mao’s vision from his peripheral view, 

_“You’re here to get Badgerclops his cup using your own hard-earned money. Your phone is about to die because like an idiot you forgot to charge your phone this morning-”_

Descending from the clouds and expertly scouting out available parking space amongst consumers of pleasure, Mao Mao parks the aero-cycle. 

_“You are in completely unrecognizable territory…”_

The asphalt flooring from the aero-cycle to Wal-Mart’s entryway is littered with cracks and the occasionally crushed bottle can, glimmering under an oppressive afternoon sun. The parking-lot is mostly occupied by white Sudans with road battle-scars and bird poop, old Jeeps that spout single-line political party rhetoric through obnoxiously colored car-stickers that have no business of being obnoxious for stickers are meant to be fun to look at, and any other run-of-the-mill looking car-models that scream _generic._

_“And you want to go home.”_

A young penguin of 38, purple feathered and fake-wigged, with a mean glare and fixed posture is shown to be berating a hapless young employee, who looks more dead than alive, for the grave transgression of giving back the penguin’s pen when clearly the flightless ingrate illustrated the notion that she didn’t want her pen back, all the while her baby is locked in the car crying and children whining vigorously over who had the last turn playing _Fortnite_ on their only Nintendo-Switch console. 

_“The only positives here, is that not only do you have Geraldine with you, but also the fact that you only need to get just one thing and then book it out of Wal-Mart just to make Badgerclops happy.”_

Making his entry into Wal-Mart, what Mao Mao should confront or will have to confront during his time shopping for the ceramic cup is unbeknownst to the cat sheriff. Nor will Mao Mao be happy for what is in store for him. 

_“For your sake Badgerclops, this ceramic cup better look cute.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm open to criticism. Shoot me up. 
> 
> Also Corona-Virus, amirite?


End file.
